All my life I have been like ‘haanji papaji, theek hai papaji’ and as a daughter I always wanted my father to be proud of me and in that quest I was losing my identity. Being from a typical Punjabi family married to a Parsi I wasn’t allowed to dance or take up dancing as profession. Even listening music was not tolerable in my house. During my school cultural activities I wasn’t allowed to perform. Literally my parents used to say ‘dancing mein kya rakha hai, issey career nahi banta’ so I never really tried to attempt it.
There was difference of opinion in culture in my marriage, I was dipped down to a point where I thought ‘Ab kuch nahi hosakta,’ but at the end of this suffering was a door I reminded myself ‘bloody hell, I was a topper in my school, college, done my masters, best at my job. How can I fall to a level where I am so vulnerable’? I started to retaliate to things which were not making sense.
I have been through my struggle of being married to a different community, left my job after giving birth to my daughter. It wasn’t my weight which was weighing me down, it was my mental weight. I enrolled myself with Terrence Lewis and Ashley Lobo and got my basics done. Then I got into Dance Movement Therapy. Everyone around me was like you are in a corporate background ‘kya karogi dancing mein’ butI wanted to break the patterns. My body was very stiff. If you look at my past pictures I used to look like a boy but due to fitness and dancing I saw my body getting transformed. The change happened and this alteration was not just physical it was mental. I have abs, muscles but DMT has given me softness. I never thought I had this potential.
Now I take fitness sessions at my studio. I also worked as a counselor at Ahura foundation and Masina hospital Psychiatric Department for Autistic and Down syndrome patients. I have seen a shift happening after their emotional release.
It was a struggle but when everyone around see how far I have come, they have changed their perception. So never give up. No matter what you’re going through there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. It may seem hard but you can do it. I am a living example where I thought I had no choice but now I am showing people a new path. I found myself and now I am in love with myself- ‘Mein apni favourite hoon.’