Yes I am in a happy long distance marriage.
My husband and I have been married for 14 years and have a daughter under 12. He is an ENT surgeon and lives in Dubai for his job. I am an International Zumba trainer in Mumbai for past 7 years. We meet twice a year for 3 months stretch. So if you feel how does our marriage work? Let me be completely honest with you long distance relationships can work. It just takes efforts and communication. He is the perfect person; it just happens that he lives thousands of miles away.
The main ways we make it work is by genuinely loving each other, being Independent, supportive, trusting and yeah Totok!
In our case we are both Independent people with very different nature, different manners and reactions to most of the things. I am the social one while he is the one happy on his couch with his book. He is the disciplined one and I am the entertainer.
We text, call, email and facetime each other many times a day, video calls every night allow us to read body language and tell if other is having a bad day. I also encourage my daughter to leave voice notes and videos for her dad to stay connected.
I feel the most important thing is not to see yourselves as living separate lives. Trust is essential. Without it being apart could be really difficult.
People around me keep questioning- How do you manage on your own? Is it difficult to be able to do things without spouse?
On the contrary I feel long distance marriage works for me because we don’t see or hurt each other every day!
I would like to ask if you were offered a good job, would you move to a different city without your spouse? Most of the people would answer yes.
I wouldn’t want my husband giving up something that he has worked so hard on!
So sometimes you have to make sacrifices and this one I feel is worth for us. There are moments when I feel emotionally low. On festivals, birthdays or couple parties but I have seen it all and battled it.
A long-distance relationship has worked for me because its best of both worlds: I have someone I care about, but I also have a lot of much-needed solitude.
Interviewed and written by Raavya Sarda